In this episode of Breakup Pep Talks, Sarah Curnoles speaks with spiritual life and business coach Cassandra Rosa about navigating the “now what” moments that follow breakups and other major life transitions. Cassandra explores how processing difficult emotions, practicing gratitude, and rebuilding self-trust can create clarity during uncertain times. She reminds listeners that transformation does not require having everything figured out—it begins with one small step and the courage to choose differently.
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Find her on https://www.cassandrarosa.com/
Follow her on instagram @Cassandrarosa
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Sarah Curnoles: Alright, my friends, welcome to another episode of Breakup Pep Talks, and I am so excited to have my new friend, Cassandra Rosa, here with us today. So, hi! Thank you so much for being here!
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Cassandra Rosa: Thank you for having me, I'm excited to chat with you.
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Sarah Curnoles: Me too! I'm excited to share your story and share what you do.
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Sarah Curnoles: So, I always like to begin at the beginning.
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Sarah Curnoles: Tell everybody a little bit about yourself, and how you got here.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, I would love to. So, I am a spiritual life and business coach from Toronto, Canada, and what lights me up is to help people create their most impactful chapter in business with more clarity and confidence than ever before.
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Cassandra Rosa: So that's my mission and what I do. On a personal front, I'm a total bookworm. I absolutely love reading. I love the beach. I have a very cute dog named Leo, a little cavapoo, and I just love to connect with people all over the world, so I'm excited for this conversation.
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Sarah Curnoles: I love that. So, what inspired you to be so passionate about helping people create this for their… for themselves?
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Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, from, like, a really young age, I just felt like I was here for a reason, to be able to help people and make a difference. And long story short, I accidentally, or not so accidentally, fell into the personal development world.
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Cassandra Rosa: And realized this could be a way that I could serve the world and humanity and help people create their own impactful missions. So, I've been in the industry for now 11 years, and I just love seeing people's lightbulb moments.
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Sarah Curnoles: That's awesome. Thank you. So, you talk about those, like, now what moments. Did you have one in your life that really led you…
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Cassandra Rosa: Yeah.
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Sarah Curnoles: direction.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, I love to define it first. I find that now what moments are the times that a chapter is closing in your life, and a new one is beginning? So, whether you're having, like, a quarter or midlife crisis, or in your career, or…
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Cassandra Rosa: you know, a breakup happens. You know, something unexpected happened, a new chapter is beginning, and you're like, now what am I gonna do with my life?
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Cassandra Rosa: So, we could be here all day talking about all the now-what moments that I have, but I think, you know, with career, that was a really big one for me, of understanding, okay, I have a higher purpose. How am I going to be able to find what that looks like? And I find…
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Cassandra Rosa: A common thread for a lot of now what moments that people go through, of all the ones that I mentioned, including breakups, is
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Cassandra Rosa: there's, like, this grieving period. There's this sadness, there's this depression that happens when a part of your life is closing, and what I really love to help people with, and I wrote about it in my book, actually, is finding the gratitude.
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Cassandra Rosa: In that difficult time of navigating a now what moment. And I know, personally, on the personal front, when I've had breakups in my life, that's been something that's really been this gateway into being able to move forward.
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Sarah Curnoles: Yeah. Do you find… Or have you worked with people or heard stories of people who,
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Sarah Curnoles: Feel lost, even if they knew the thing that they lost wasn't right.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yes, yeah, 100%. I think…
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Cassandra Rosa: you know, thinking about career in my life, you know, I went to school for psychology, and…
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Cassandra Rosa: I realized I didn't want to be in school for 12 years, and, like, the traditional path wasn't the right path, so there was, like, this loss, this grief of that chapter ending, and this uncertainty of what's next, and I found that that mirrored into so many breakups that I experienced personally, because it's like, you're unpacking and redefining yourself and your future.
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Cassandra Rosa: Right? You thought that this was gonna be the path, this was gonna be the person, this was gonna be the journey that we were gonna embark on, so it's kind of like having a whiteboard, and you wipe it clean, and it's like…
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Cassandra Rosa: I don't even know what to write first, so I can.
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Sarah Curnoles: Right.
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Cassandra Rosa: So many times when all the now what moments that I've had in my life where I was like, I don't know where to start.
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Sarah Curnoles: Yeah, what is it that you think makes that moment so difficult?
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Cassandra Rosa: I think uncertainty is something that…
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Cassandra Rosa: we all don't know how to navigate, because I've… I talk about this in my book, too, but, like, we have, like, the ABCs of success, like, this predictability, these boxes to check. So there's this predictability in life, right? So, like, you go to high school, you go to university or college, and then you get the job, and you meet the love of your life, and get a house, and kids, and retire, right? Like, it's like boxes to check.
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Cassandra Rosa: So, when we're in these moments of now what, and breakups, it's like, I don't know what's gonna happen next, and we get into this state of panic and anxiety because we don't know. So, I think that that is something that everyone faces at some point in their life.
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Sarah Curnoles: Yeah, so the uncertainty becomes linked with the anxiety, and then it's easy to get stuck in anxiety, and
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Sarah Curnoles: Almost sort of, like, sit in it for longer than maybe you need to.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, yeah, anxiety is, like, when you get caught up of not knowing what's happening in the past, while depression is kind of being caught up in, you know, sorry, say the other way around, anxiety is when you're getting caught up of you don't know what's gonna happen in the future, and then depression is when you're getting caught up of…
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Cassandra Rosa: you know, not being able to let go of the past. And I find that when you're going through these now-what moments, breakups especially, there's a time for both. There's, oh, you're kind of mourning what could have been, and then you're also getting caught up of what's to come that you're uncertain of.
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Sarah Curnoles: Yeah. So, how do you help people with that, then?
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Sarah Curnoles: that are like, I don't even know where to start!
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Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, I think, you know, in the first chapter of my book, I talk about this, is, like, gratitude being this great… this gateway for clarity of really finding gratitude for the hard time that you're in. I think it's easy, you know, in the personal development world and all the self-help books, they say, list 5-10 things you're grateful for every day. And it's easy to be grateful for the things that you have, you know, having water, having a place to live, having
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Cassandra Rosa: money in your bank account, but I think it can be challenging to find the gratitude in the uncomfortable moments. So I think it's once you're able to understand, you know what, I'm grateful for where I am, and start to have a higher understanding, and sense of closure of why things happen the way that they did, I think that that's really, really powerful. So it's like, yes, things didn't happen.
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Cassandra Rosa: the way that you wanted them to, but what could be the reason for that? So, asking yourself questions like, what was the biggest lesson that I learned from this relationship?
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Cassandra Rosa: And why am I better off in this moment without it? And who can I…
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Cassandra Rosa: embody and become in future relationships going forward. So it's kind of like zooming out and trying to look for the golden nuggets in whatever situation you are in life.
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Sarah Curnoles: Yeah, and sometimes when I'm going through a really big struggle, it's, this isn't the easiest thing, it's really like doing heavy lifting with my brain, but I think about, there's gonna be a day where I look back on this time, and I'm like, oh, those were the days. Like, even the biggest heartbreak moments, because, I don't know, when I'm in the middle of a heartbreak, I rest more.
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Sarah Curnoles: Like, I… I take more time for myself, I do more self-care, you know, I…
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Sarah Curnoles: Like, really enjoy those long, hot showers, and those.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yes!
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Sarah Curnoles: cries, and even though they're painful, even though they're hard, like, you feel really alive.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yes.
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Sarah Curnoles: At least it's not boring.
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Sarah Curnoles: And, you know, there's even something… there's something sweet about getting to show up for yourself in moments of pain that,
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Sarah Curnoles: I see what you're saying of, like, you can find gratitude for that, too.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yes, yes, and understanding, and make peace, so you're able to move forward with a new lens, and something that is always helpful for me, too, in those moments where we can't really make sense of it in the moment, is imagining life is like Connect the Dots, you know, when you're kids and you make the Connect the Dots picture. We go through these series of moments where we're connecting from one dot to the other, and we might
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Cassandra Rosa: not realize in the big, grand scheme of things what the significance is in that moment, but once we move through it and connect each dot and zoom out, one day we're going to be at this place where it's like, this is why things that needed to happen.
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Cassandra Rosa: You know, this is why I had to connect that dot. This is why I had to go through this breakup, or this hardship, or obstacle. So it's also, like, having, faith that it's gonna make sense one day. I just.
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Sarah Curnoles: And patience, which is… Yeah. Patience. I'm so bad at patience.
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Cassandra Rosa: Me too, me too, me too.
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Sarah Curnoles: Yeah, so I feel like this is also where fear starts coming in, right? Like, fear is a big part of transitions, so what do you see… what are the common fears that you see that show up?
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Cassandra Rosa: Yes, yes, for now what moments. I think, again, it's like this fear of the future, fear of the unknown, fear of our ability to be able to move forward, self-doubt.
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Cassandra Rosa: You know, doubting ourselves in those stories, and I think, like, you know, the fear leading to overwhelm.
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Cassandra Rosa: and big emotions, I think. You know, as women,
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Cassandra Rosa: you know, showing up in these, you know, masculine, kind of design society, we're taught to put our emotions away, so I think it's even being scared to truly feel, and go into those deep emotions and that uncomfortability, I think is something that people experience, too. Having that space for that, being scared to be angry, being scared to, have judgment come up, you know?
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Cassandra Rosa: Parcel.
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Sarah Curnoles: Yeah.
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Cassandra Rosa: navigate.
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Sarah Curnoles: Yeah, for sure. I'm…
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Sarah Curnoles: what do you… what would you say is the antidote to… to all these fears? How do we… how do we deal with it?
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Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, yeah. Instead of bypassing it, because I think in a lot of,
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Cassandra Rosa: you know, spiritual conversations, personal development conversations, it's like helping you move through things quickly. I think it's really changing your relationship with fear and understanding that fear is just like a protection mechanism, and
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Cassandra Rosa: instead of bypassing it or shushing it like you would with, like, a little sibling, it's giving the microphone to your fear, and giving yourself permission to express your fears, whether it's confiding in a friend, or, like, writing it out, vent journaling it out, giving yourself the spaciousness so that you can start to understand and go deeper of, like, what are the origins of these fears? Where did things come from, and go deeper on your healing journey.
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Cassandra Rosa: Instead of bypassing it and pushing it down for years and years and years, and then having those blow-up moments.
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Sarah Curnoles: And it… it ties into something that I picked up on in your book of, like, how important clarity is. So, like, giving your fear that voice can also bring some clarity of, like, you.
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Cassandra Rosa: I can understand.
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Sarah Curnoles: expand it more.
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Sarah Curnoles: What, what are some questions somebody could ask themselves to get more clarity after a what-now moment?
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Cassandra Rosa: That's a good question.
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Cassandra Rosa: I think… It's interesting to be able to sit with and imagine, like, if you had a magic wand.
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Cassandra Rosa: What would be something that you would want to create next?
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Sarah Curnoles: You know, kind of… That's a good one!
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Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, like, taking the ownership back, and that power back, because in those moments, we can feel powerless, and we can feel like a victim to our own personal circumstance. I think it's also understanding the steps, like, getting the movement happening, because sometimes when we're feeling in these stuck states.
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Cassandra Rosa: we're not feeling clarity because we're stuck in our stuff, and it's important, like I said, to express the stuff, but you also find clarity by taking action. So it's simply asking yourself, like, what is something that I want to feel right now? Okay, I want to feel more peace. Okay, what's something small that I can do to feel more peace?
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Cassandra Rosa: And then taking that action. Because the more that you're getting into that movement and that momentum, the more that clarity will come, because you're in a more expansive state than being in your bed with the covers over your head, type of.
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Sarah Curnoles: Do you have, like, a story of a client that you've walked through that you would be open to sharing?
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Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, yeah, specific to breakups, or…
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Sarah Curnoles: If you have a breakup one, awesome, but I know that's also not… it's not.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yes.
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Sarah Curnoles: focus, you just focus on these transition moments.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, yeah, let me think of a good client story.
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Cassandra Rosa: I can think of a client, she was going through some relationship stuff, and she was trying to find her purpose, and she couldn't pinpoint what exactly that was. And she was caught up and stuck in having the right plan.
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Cassandra Rosa: You know, and she was like, now what path do I take, you know, in that kind of analysis paralysis type of moment?
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Cassandra Rosa: And she… I ended up just saying, okay, like, what is some small step that you can take? And she was like, okay, I'm gonna start to do card readings for my friends and family, like angel card readings. So she started to do that, and she started to fall in love with that.
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Cassandra Rosa: And she started to get positive feedback, and she started to realize, you know, this is a way that I can… it can be a vehicle to help more people. So then she ended up deciding, okay, I'm gonna do live videos. So she ended up doing live videos, and attracting more people into her orbit, and fell in love with content creation, and expanded things from there. So sometimes we want the big vision, we want the big answers, we want…
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Cassandra Rosa: you know, the big destination there, but there's something special about just
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Cassandra Rosa: Starting to move, and see how things happen and fall into place.
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Sarah Curnoles: So true, because I think sometimes the next step only reveals itself, like, one at a time.
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Sarah Curnoles: she probably couldn't have anticipated, I'm gonna get into content creation, that probably wasn't a clear path for her at the beginning, but she was just saying, I'm gonna do this one thing, because that feels fun, or that feels a little easier, that feels like a break from everything else.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yes.
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Sarah Curnoles: It's just one step at a time.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yes, yes, the clarity will come, the answers will come, the understanding will come. I think it's just one baby step after another. And I can think of all the times where I was, like, ice cream in bed, like, breakup situations where I started to be able to move on and move forward was because I went for a walk.
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Cassandra Rosa: out in nature, or because I sat in the sunshine, you know, and I got out of my environment, right?
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Sarah Curnoles: Yeah, that really… that hits me, though, of, like, the… the idea that clarity will come, and I think it also ties to what you were saying about being… feeling like a victim.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yes.
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Sarah Curnoles: And, when you're sitting being a victim, which we all do it, it all happens sometimes, where we want to be in that role.
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Sarah Curnoles: But one of the ways, I think, to shift out is that… I think that… that sentence alone of, like, clarity will come. Like, what's one thing I can do right now? Like, what is the smallest possible step I can take?
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Sarah Curnoles: And that whole idea of, like, clarity will come is… is such a…
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Sarah Curnoles: It's small, but it's got so much faith and trust in it, and it helps shift.
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Sarah Curnoles: It helps shift things, yeah.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yes, because I think we can get stuck in the planning phase, but as we act and all the answers appear. Right.
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Sarah Curnoles: you know, I… when you go through a breakup, and I say this a lot, it's like you lose your whole future.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yes.
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Sarah Curnoles: Right? And so, it feels like…
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Sarah Curnoles: am I ever gonna feel that clear about my life again? Am I ever gonna be, like, looking forward to getting out of bed, or having that much love? Sometimes it can feel, it feels like despair.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yes.
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Sarah Curnoles: And knowing, like, yes, I will. Like, I will… maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but I will. I will have that again.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yes, yeah.
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Sarah Curnoles: Yeah, that's really good.
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Sarah Curnoles: What…
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Sarah Curnoles: Hmm, I… there's something there, too, sorry, that's just coming up for me about…
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Sarah Curnoles: Do you think that grief and growth can happen at the same time?
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Cassandra Rosa: Mmm, that's such a good question.
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Cassandra Rosa: I think so.
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Cassandra Rosa: I think so. I think even just giving yourself permission to express emotion is growth in itself.
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Sarah Curnoles: Mmm…
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Cassandra Rosa: Because sometimes we try and bypass and push things down and don't want to feel the emotions. I know that I was definitely experiencing this many parts of my life. I love to feel joy and peace and happiness and fulfillment, but when it came to anger and grief, I was like,
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Sarah Curnoles: So…
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Cassandra Rosa: I think there's so much, like, growth, like, that happens by doing that, by, like, expressing that. Like, you feel so much lighter.
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Cassandra Rosa: And you, you're not carrying all this heaviness anymore, the more that you give yourself permission to express these fully in a really loving space. And then from that place of letting that go, you show up differently.
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Cassandra Rosa: you become a more, fullest expression of yourself by doing so. So, I think that's… that's very much growth.
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Sarah Curnoles: Yeah. I mean, really what you're… what you do with your clients, it's transformation, right? What do you think transformation actually looks like? I think it's a word we all say a lot, but we never break it down. So what do you think transformation looks like in real life?
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Cassandra Rosa: Yes. Well, because you said looks like, I had an analogy of, like, the butterfly, when you're thinking about metamorphosis, right? Sometimes we cocoon ourselves, and we're living in a limited expression of ourselves in the world, right? It can feel dark at times.
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Cassandra Rosa: It can feel like you're stuck, and you're kind of, like, hermiting and going inward. And I feel like transformation is that moment when you decide to bust out of the cocoon, to try something different, to take a different action, to take a different approach, to step into the light, and to have the courage to not only break through, but open to your wings and fly. So I think
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Cassandra Rosa: the people that transform, and looking at all the times I've taken those big leaps in my life, it's because I chose differently. So I think, you know, to step into transformation is simply to choose differently for yourself.
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Sarah Curnoles: And that also, again, it breaks it down into something really small. I was having this conversation with a client the other day of, like, he really wanted a breakthrough, and he was expecting the breakthrough to be this, like, big, giant aha.
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Sarah Curnoles: And he was neglecting all those small moments, where it's like, you made a new choice there, and you made a new choice there, and look at all these things that are also moments of transformation.
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Sarah Curnoles: That are breakthroughs, like, if… I think making a new choice is a moment of a breakthrough.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yeah. No, I love that you're saying this, because I just made a post about this yesterday.
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Sarah Curnoles: Oh, wow.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, pretty much talking about, like, if you want to feel more confident. You know, often we're like, I'm not going to feel confident until I get to the destination, or I'm gonna have the thing. But it's actually giving yourself permission to look back at the past of all the evidence that exists.
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Cassandra Rosa: Of all the times that you showed up confidently, of all the things that you've overcome, all the breakthroughs that you've had.
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Cassandra Rosa: All the tough decisions that you had to make, and the lessons that you learned, and realize how that's made you more confident by choosing that.
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Cassandra Rosa: So when you're looking at it from a lens of a breakup, maybe you're not feeling yourself right now, and you're going through these difficulties, and you're not feeling like your best self. Well, it's like looking at, look how much courage it took you to leave that relationship that wasn't serving you, or look how much courage it was to go and meet up with your ex and pick up your stuff. Like, there's so much evidence in these transformational times that shows
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Cassandra Rosa: you how strong and resilient and courageous and confident you truly are, so it's about giving yourself more credit.
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Sarah Curnoles: I love that, especially in the context of a breakup, because I've been… I've been working on something about when you're the person who's receiving the news that the relationship is ending, when you're being broken up with.
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Cassandra Rosa: Yeah.
00:20:52.680 --> 00:21:12.200
Sarah Curnoles: we… we often look at the other person and we see, like, oh, it seems like they've moved on so much faster, right? We do this comparison of, like, oh, they're probably seeing somebody else, or, like, they're not as upset as I am. But really, that person probably didn't make that decision on a whim. They'd probably been sitting with it for a period of time.
00:21:12.260 --> 00:21:21.610
Sarah Curnoles: And you just got the news. So, like, you're having to go through your own cocoon, your grief, your letting go of everything.
00:21:21.750 --> 00:21:28.550
Sarah Curnoles: And… oh my gosh, what was it that you said that I was gonna tie this to? Because it was so, serendipitous.
00:21:29.510 --> 00:21:30.810
Cassandra Rosa: The butterfly stuff?
00:21:30.810 --> 00:21:36.249
Sarah Curnoles: I think so. It was also in the post that you were sharing of,
00:21:36.840 --> 00:21:54.630
Sarah Curnoles: like, making… but making the new choices, right? Like, you might be comparing where you are today, which is a little further behind in the process, to somebody else who's farther back, and neglecting to see… neglecting to see all those moments for yourself of what you've actually been doing, and not…
00:21:54.770 --> 00:22:09.590
Sarah Curnoles: saying, like, that moment where I took care of myself, or I let myself cry, or I let myself grieve, or I'm in shock, like, maybe I lower my expectations while I'm in shock, and I can give myself, give myself some grace.
00:22:10.360 --> 00:22:11.020
Sarah Curnoles: And…
00:22:11.020 --> 00:22:11.350
Cassandra Rosa: Yeah.
00:22:11.350 --> 00:22:17.180
Sarah Curnoles: Credit for, like, what you are doing, instead of comparing yourself to somebody else and thinking you're not far enough along.
00:22:17.350 --> 00:22:34.829
Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, or judging yourself for feeling the feelings. Right. Like, if you don't want to leave the bed, I'm not saying to, like, be there for months and years, you know, about that, that might be an area in which, you know, you receive additional assistance for, but it's okay when you are in shock to…
00:22:34.940 --> 00:22:36.869
Cassandra Rosa: Sit there, and…
00:22:37.190 --> 00:22:51.349
Cassandra Rosa: just be still, you know? It's okay to bawl your eyes out. It's okay to have ice cream for dinner with a breakup for when that thing's just happened. So it's like, I think it's releasing judgment, too, when you're navigating these now-what moments.
00:22:51.660 --> 00:22:53.210
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah, absolutely.
00:22:53.940 --> 00:23:02.400
Sarah Curnoles: What, what role would you say that intuition and self-trust plays in healing or in navigating a now-what moment?
00:23:02.770 --> 00:23:05.130
Cassandra Rosa: Oh, yeah, this is such a good question.
00:23:05.260 --> 00:23:19.169
Cassandra Rosa: I think that, hmm… intuition has just been one of the biggest things that, I've given myself permission to express in myself. It was something I suppressed for a really long time, and I found that
00:23:19.270 --> 00:23:24.179
Cassandra Rosa: My intuition has allowed me to connect from the breadcrumbs.
00:23:24.200 --> 00:23:47.459
Cassandra Rosa: From, like, God, from the universe, in my healing and transformation journey. Like, leading me to books, leading me to respond to Facebook group posts for podcasts, like, you know, all these little things. It's been, like, my compass in navigating my healing and transformation journey, and I think it can be for people too, and I think self-trust is also a big part of it because it connects to faith.
00:23:47.690 --> 00:24:01.359
Cassandra Rosa: Like, when we don't have the answers, when there's the uncertainty, when there's these plot twists in life, that's where we have to lean into the faith of whatever it is that you believe in, and trust yourself to navigate through it.
00:24:01.860 --> 00:24:02.710
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah.
00:24:03.480 --> 00:24:05.849
Sarah Curnoles: What do you… what would that look like?
00:24:06.820 --> 00:24:11.940
Sarah Curnoles: If somebody's maybe newer at listening to their intuition, what… what…
00:24:12.180 --> 00:24:14.170
Sarah Curnoles: What should they be paying attention to?
00:24:14.330 --> 00:24:31.469
Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, all of us have it. A simple way is, do you ever walk into a room of people, and you feel like, this is an inviting place to be, this feels good? Yeah. Right? Versus when you walk into a room, and you're like, something's off here.
00:24:32.190 --> 00:24:32.540
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah.
00:24:32.540 --> 00:24:44.800
Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, I don't know if I want to be here. That's your intuition speaking to you. Like, that gut instinct, that feeling it in your chest, in your heart, like, ugh, yes and no. Like, the yes and no is very much your intuition.
00:24:45.190 --> 00:25:05.419
Cassandra Rosa: speaking. So, intuition in relationships is very big. You can maybe have that gut instinct about somebody in that relationship or that moment of time. So it's up to us to be able to not only listen to that into our body and be in tune with our body, but then take action accordingly.
00:25:05.990 --> 00:25:06.750
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah.
00:25:07.710 --> 00:25:12.150
Sarah Curnoles: And… What's the line between…
00:25:12.700 --> 00:25:19.900
Sarah Curnoles: Right? Because, like, the analogy of, like, walking into a room being like, it's not for me, but sometimes that's also your fear, right?
00:25:20.240 --> 00:25:27.379
Sarah Curnoles: So, like, how do you know if it's intuition or fear? Of, like, this is a little uncomfortable, it's out of my comfort zone?
00:25:27.380 --> 00:25:41.079
Cassandra Rosa: well, I think it's that, like, feeling it… how do you explain it? Kind of in your gut, like a full body, visceral response versus, like, it being very heady.
00:25:41.080 --> 00:25:53.949
Sarah Curnoles: Mmm, yeah, so if we used an example of, like, maybe somebody's gonna get back to dating, and they are like, well, I could try speed dating, right? Like… Yes. Yeah, let's say that, and they walk in, and…
00:25:55.240 --> 00:25:59.830
Sarah Curnoles: What… what's the difference? Like, what does it seem like if it's in their head?
00:26:01.270 --> 00:26:02.810
Sarah Curnoles: How can we break this down?
00:26:02.970 --> 00:26:04.290
Cassandra Rosa: racing thoughts.
00:26:04.290 --> 00:26:05.640
Sarah Curnoles: Oh, yeah, okay.
00:26:05.640 --> 00:26:10.499
Cassandra Rosa: Racing thoughts, so it's kind of like the head versus, like, the heart or, like, the body response.
00:26:10.500 --> 00:26:13.729
Sarah Curnoles: So, like, a body response might be…
00:26:13.730 --> 00:26:17.979
Cassandra Rosa: More intuitively led versus, like, racing thoughts of, like.
00:26:17.980 --> 00:26:18.510
Sarah Curnoles: Okay.
00:26:18.510 --> 00:26:30.359
Cassandra Rosa: what is this person thinking of me? There's a lot of people here, I've never done this before, versus, like, no! Like, intuition can kind of be, like, right to the point, and, like, right into the point, and
00:26:30.910 --> 00:26:31.900
Cassandra Rosa: direct.
00:26:32.130 --> 00:26:32.790
Sarah Curnoles: Okay.
00:26:32.790 --> 00:26:34.179
Cassandra Rosa: In my personal experience, and a lot of.
00:26:34.180 --> 00:26:34.640
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah, yeah.
00:26:34.640 --> 00:26:36.090
Cassandra Rosa: Cocktail's been the same.
00:26:36.090 --> 00:26:39.690
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah, okay. So,
00:26:42.290 --> 00:26:52.379
Sarah Curnoles: If somebody is facing a now what moment, right now, like, they're just going through a breakup, what's something that you would want them to know?
00:26:53.850 --> 00:26:54.940
Cassandra Rosa: Hmm…
00:26:57.080 --> 00:27:03.789
Cassandra Rosa: That it's okay to be sad, that it's okay to be disappointed, that it's okay to be angry. All of that is valid.
00:27:04.180 --> 00:27:18.830
Cassandra Rosa: It's important that you create spaciousness to be able to express and process what it is that you're going through in this now what moment, whether that means to confide in a friend, have a therapist, have a coach on your side, having Sarah in your corner.
00:27:19.470 --> 00:27:36.740
Cassandra Rosa: Journaling, you know, to move through that emotion, that's really, really important to be able to process it and not bypass it, so that you can get into this place of feeling more at peace, more contentment, and then you can start to take those baby steps to be able to move forward.
00:27:37.510 --> 00:27:46.520
Cassandra Rosa: important, and if you're going through the thick of it, in those moments, as you process, I think what's been really helpful for me is,
00:27:46.800 --> 00:27:53.700
Cassandra Rosa: Realizing, okay, I need a moment of peace right now, okay, let me do a small thing that makes me feel good and makes me feel at peace.
00:27:53.700 --> 00:28:09.809
Cassandra Rosa: okay, I, you know, I've been crying all day, I could really, love to feel in this state of joy. Okay, I'm gonna watch a funny chick flick, you know? Like, doing those small things for yourself in the process as you're navigating these emotions and creating the closure you need so you're able to move forward.
00:28:10.060 --> 00:28:10.780
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah.
00:28:11.230 --> 00:28:23.299
Sarah Curnoles: And I don't know if you're open to sharing this, or if it's for a client or something that you could say anonymously. What's something that heartbreak gave you that you couldn't have gotten any other way?
00:28:27.500 --> 00:28:28.720
Cassandra Rosa: Self-worth.
00:28:28.720 --> 00:28:30.789
Sarah Curnoles: Tell me more!
00:28:30.790 --> 00:28:33.909
Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, yeah. I was in a relationship for a long time.
00:28:33.910 --> 00:28:52.199
Cassandra Rosa: And it was a relationship that awoke, like, woke me up to, spiritually, to my potential. It was, like, one of those had to happen in my life, very significant, with a lot of, gratitude moments, but there was also moments where…
00:28:52.200 --> 00:28:57.170
Cassandra Rosa: I didn't put enough firm boundaries, let's just say.
00:28:57.420 --> 00:28:58.760
Cassandra Rosa: And…
00:28:59.350 --> 00:29:13.069
Cassandra Rosa: in navigating all of that, and looking back, I learned so much about myself. And it was in that moment, yes, but it was also in the moments after the breakup of giving myself permission to
00:29:13.070 --> 00:29:30.540
Cassandra Rosa: work through my emotions, and be in that spaciousness, and realizing patterns, and working with my spiritual support system, working with coaches and therapists, all of that. I realized… I realized in that process of,
00:29:32.150 --> 00:29:42.119
Cassandra Rosa: how I am choosing to show up differently in relationships going forward, really embodying how worthy I am as a human being, as Cassandra, so…
00:29:42.120 --> 00:29:43.119
Sarah Curnoles: I love that.
00:29:43.120 --> 00:29:59.880
Cassandra Rosa: that's why I really, in this conversation, want to focus on the importance of feeling the feels when you're going through the breakup, because I think that's where all the magic… that's where all the magic happens. That's where all the lessons happen, and then there's so much closure that comes from that, because you understand so much more about yourself, and, like.
00:29:59.940 --> 00:30:12.889
Cassandra Rosa: not to go too woo-woo, but, like, the soulful significance of that relationship. I feel like everybody comes into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, and you almost have this contract with them, soulfully, of…
00:30:12.890 --> 00:30:24.569
Cassandra Rosa: who you're supposed to be by having them in your life. So I think once you're able to process everything, you're… you are able to create so much closure and understanding of the significance of that person in your life.
00:30:24.570 --> 00:30:26.030
Sarah Curnoles: Hmm, I love that.
00:30:26.270 --> 00:30:33.879
Sarah Curnoles: Wonderful. And if people want to get in touch with you, and they want to, like, learn more about your magic, where can they find you?
00:30:33.880 --> 00:30:43.240
Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, Cassandraosa.com is a great place, or on Instagram, CassandraosaA, just send me a message. My inbox is always open.
00:30:43.240 --> 00:30:47.199
Sarah Curnoles: Awesome! And do you have anything coming up that people should know about?
00:30:47.330 --> 00:31:10.669
Cassandra Rosa: Yeah, I have a school community, so that I recently started, the time of this recording, which I'm really loving. It's for impactful female entrepreneurs, and it's really to help them upgrade their impact and extend their ripple effect with more clarity and confidence, so there's trainings in there, there's a course you get access to, networking opportunities, so that's really exciting.
00:31:10.980 --> 00:31:16.059
Sarah Curnoles: Awesome, thank you so much. And is there anything you want to share that I didn't ask?
00:31:17.470 --> 00:31:18.610
Cassandra Rosa: Hmm…
00:31:25.560 --> 00:31:44.659
Cassandra Rosa: it's something that my best friend told me through every breakup. Everything happens for a reason. Every single thing happens for a reason. So if you're going through the thick of it right now, there is a divine reason that this is happening this way. And going back to the connect the dots, analogy.
00:31:44.970 --> 00:32:02.120
Cassandra Rosa: you might not know why this is happening right now, and it may feel like it's happening to you, but it's for you. And one day, down the road, in hindsight, you're gonna realize what happened, and it's gonna be such a magical day. So, just give yourself grace and love as you're navigating it and moving forward.
00:32:02.780 --> 00:32:07.190
Sarah Curnoles: Awesome. Thank you so much for being here today, Cassandra.
00:32:07.190 --> 00:32:08.939
Cassandra Rosa: Thank you for having me.
00:32:08.940 --> 00:32:09.680
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah.