In this episode, Sarah talks with Jewell Harrington about why heartbreak can be so painful even when you know the relationship wasn't right—you may actually be grieving the future, love, belonging, and connection you thought the relationship would give you. Jewell shares how EFT/tapping and inner-child work helped her gently process grief, uncover beliefs like “I'll never have love again” and “maybe this is all I deserve,” and create more safety and self-compassion instead of forcing herself into toxic positivity. The episode also includes a live tapping demonstration for heartbreak, giving listeners a simple way to acknowledge and move through painful emotions without getting swallowed by them.
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🌐 https://jewellharrington.com/thankyou-tappingforheartbreaksarahcurnolespodcastpage
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Sarah Curnoles: Alright, my friends, welcome to another episode of Breakup Pep Talks, and I have my new BFF, Jewell Harrington, here with me.
Sarah Curnoles: And I mean, one of the reasons why I love getting to do interviews is that you get to connect with people, and I often tell my coaching clients
Sarah Curnoles: that playing it cool isn't really all that attractive. Like, be enthusiastic. And that's how Jewell reached out to me the first time. She was just enthusiastic. I was like, we're gonna be new BFFs!
Sarah Curnoles: And I love it
Sarah Curnoles: But truly, like, we did… we started talking, we're like, yeah, we have so much in common and so much that we can share and talk about, so I'm really excited.
Sarah Curnoles: To share your expertise with the listeners, and share your story, too.
Sarah Curnoles: So, welcome!
Jewell Harrington: Thank you, Sarah. I'm so happy to be here.
Sarah Curnoles: Thank you. So, when we were having our chat before we started recording, something you said that really stuck with me was, and I wrote it down, you're not just grieving the relationship, you're grieving the future you thought you'd have.
Sarah Curnoles: So can you tell me a little bit of your relationship to that? Like, what brought you to that idea? Because that hit me of, like, whoa, that's so true.
Sarah Curnoles: How did you.
Jewell Harrington: Yeah. Come on.
Sarah Curnoles: that.
Jewell Harrington: It was… it was my realization, because I had been married, before, and, we were going through a divorce.
Jewell Harrington: And as you do, you know, as you're going through your heartbreak, and, you know, it felt terrible. But the thing is, I didn't want to be married to this person. Like, you know, I knew this wasn't a healthy marriage for me, it wasn't, like…
Jewell Harrington: my husband wasn't someone I wanted to be with.
Jewell Harrington: And I was just writing in my journal, I was like, why am I so sad? Like, I don't want to be in this marriage, why am I so sad about it? Why am I so sad? And I just wrote, because I'll never find love again. I'll never… I'll never have this.
Jewell Harrington: Even though it's not what I had, I wanted it.
Jewell Harrington: And that got me thinking, so, you know, I started, like, tapping on that and going through my, you know, just thinking through that and sitting with that. And I was like, well.
Jewell Harrington: what I'm really sad about is the love that I had thought that this relationship would give me, you know, like, the connection, the sense of belonging, just, like, the… all the feel-goods.
Jewell Harrington: And even though I wasn't getting that in this marriage, it was the… it was the closest
Jewell Harrington: chance that I had at that moment. And, you know, I was scared that I was never gonna have that opportunity again, you know? And I think that that's… I think it's true for a lot of us, and, you know, in relationships or whatever.
Jewell Harrington: you know, maybe rationally we know I have lots of time for this, you know, people tell us you're a great catch, you're so good, you're gonna, you know, you deserve to find love and happiness, but…
Jewell Harrington: Like, for me, and I think for other people too, like, there's a part of us that says, well, what if? What if I cannot have this? And I was just…
Jewell Harrington: I was sitting on my couch in my apartment.
Jewell Harrington: where my daughter and I lived, and I was just, like, bawling my eyes out, saying, I'm never going to have love. This is my life. I'm gonna be lonely forever. So, you know… so it wasn't about the person at all.
Jewell Harrington: It was just about what I had hoped for.
Jewell Harrington: I'm thinking, like, I was just thinking I just needed a great big hug back then.
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but also… What insight you had?
Sarah Curnoles: to sit with the thing that came up of, like, I'll never have love again, to let yourself question it.
Sarah Curnoles: Because I think what kept me stuck for so long was I just took it as truth.
Sarah Curnoles: I have journals and journals filled with that, of, I'm never gonna find love again, or this was my best shot, like you said, of like, this is the closest it's ever gonna get for me.
Sarah Curnoles: But it sounds like you…
Sarah Curnoles: You had some curiosity around that.
Jewell Harrington: Yeah, I did. And I let myself… I think…
Jewell Harrington: A lot of times, like, the…
Jewell Harrington: Voices in our heads, the different parts of us will, like, try to argue with it, like, don't be ridiculous.
Jewell Harrington: You know, but… I was curious about it, and…
Jewell Harrington: I didn't want to… like, I didn't want to feel the hurt, but I let myself, like, gently feel the hurt, and, you know, asking, well, why do you feel that way? You know, like, what…
Jewell Harrington: what's the worst thing about that? You know, and I got… I did get really curious about that, and eventually, you know, because it wasn't just this aha moment, all of a sudden, like, oh, you know, I just, like, felt bad, felt bad, and I kept asking and getting curious about it.
Jewell Harrington: And then it was like, oh, I'll never have this. And then…
Jewell Harrington: Being curious about that part, and saying, well, okay, well, what…
Jewell Harrington: what it is… what is it about this that I want? And how can I create this feeling for myself?
Jewell Harrington: you know, I know it's cliche, but, you know, as coaches, we're always like, oh, you gotta love yourself first, you know, and that sounds really cliche, but it's so true. So I start saying, okay, well, how could I start showing myself love? How could I create this for myself?
Jewell Harrington: And be gentle with myself.
Jewell Harrington: And it honestly was… Tending to my heartbreak that helped me.
Jewell Harrington: You know, and heartbreak for the dream. Tending to myself with gentleness.
Jewell Harrington: And that curiosity that helped me get through it. And, you know, start asking, okay, what do I want?
Jewell Harrington: I want to feel free, I want to feel supported, I want connection, so…
Jewell Harrington: Yeah, I think what you said about being curious really is helpful.
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah. And so, we're definitely going to be talking about tapping today, but you had mentioned you use tapping to help you get over your grief.
Sarah Curnoles: We're definitely gonna go into what is it, but I'm curious, were you already coaching that for people, and you had the tool, or you just kind of were aware of it?
Jewell Harrington: Yeah, so I have been actually doing it… I had had the tool, I had been doing it since,
Jewell Harrington: 2015, so it was almost a decade at that point.
Jewell Harrington: But…
Jewell Harrington: there were other components, like, I wasn't… I had recently learned about the inner child work, you know, integrating inner child work with the tapping, at that point, because
Jewell Harrington: You know, as coincidences often happen, I was getting my clinical certification with tapping.
Jewell Harrington: And my mentor, you know, because you work with a mentor.
Jewell Harrington: Who reviews your case studies, but she specialized, in this, in inner child reparenting and things like that, and dealing with, like, trauma from relationships and…
Jewell Harrington: So, I learned a different technique.
Jewell Harrington: like, a different spin on a tool that I had. So, it was… I was like, oh, look, you know, you get… you get exactly what you need at the right moment.
Sarah Curnoles: That's so true.
Jewell Harrington: We need this. Yeah.
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah.
Sarah Curnoles: Alright, so then let's go into it. Tell… like, I read your bio, so listeners know what you do, but, let's go into it a little bit deeper. Tell me more about, like.
Sarah Curnoles: What you do, and how did you get started in that work?
Jewell Harrington: Oh my gosh, I love this, I'm so pumped. I love tapping, so essentially, I thought it was crazy at first. I'm like, you want me to hit myself in the face, and I'm gonna feel better, like… and so I say I, like, help people hit themselves in the face till they cry, but it's, like, for emotional release.
Sarah Curnoles: So let's first define what tapping is, in case nobody knows what you're talking about, just in case.
Jewell Harrington: What? So, EFT, or tapping, is Emotional Freedom Techniques, and it's a stress relief tool.
Jewell Harrington: And it combines elements of cognitive therapy, exposure therapy, and acupressure. And basically, you tap on these different acupressure points on your face and different parts of the body.
Jewell Harrington: And you do this as you're thinking or feeling a specific way, like, often it's stress, it could be sadness.
Jewell Harrington: You can use it for pain.
Jewell Harrington: And as you do that,
Jewell Harrington: it tells your amygdala that you don't need to… you don't have to be in fight, flight, or freeze mode. You know, so it activates your… when you're having a stress response, you know, you have, like, the shallow breathing, the sweating.
Jewell Harrington: Your blood goes from your, from your brain, so you don't think so cognitively, and it goes to your limbs, you know, what you would need to run or fight.
Jewell Harrington: So, it's very great, you know, the stress response is very great for…
Jewell Harrington: survival. You know, we feel this when we're really sad, too. Sadness trigger… can trigger this.
Jewell Harrington: But when you tap, it tells your amygdala, you can turn off the stress response. We don't need all the cortisol, we don't need the adrenaline, we are safe. So then you go back into parasympathetic mode, and so you can have the same thoughts and feelings without the physiological response.
Jewell Harrington: So you get…
Jewell Harrington: Relief immediately, but then you also, since you're having the same thoughts, like the sad thoughts, the stressed thoughts, the anxious thoughts.
Jewell Harrington: without having the physiological response, you know, your body is saying, oh, I'm actually safe. You create new neural pathways, so that in the future, maybe you don't have
Jewell Harrington: the same reaction as intensely, or you don't have it at all. So, you know, the more… the more you strengthen those neural pathways that fire together, the… the…
Jewell Harrington: the easier it gets to function in the midst, you know, because you can't stop your brain from having these thoughts, necessarily. You just can…
Jewell Harrington: tweak your response to it. So…
Jewell Harrington: EFT is a great tool, you can do it yourself, but I say you hit yourself in the face, because you're just… you're tapping on these points, and a lot of them are on your face.
Sarah Curnoles: That's awesome. And then tell me about the inner child work that you do.
Jewell Harrington: Yeah, oh my gosh. Do you… are you familiar with inner child work? Because I was not before.
Sarah Curnoles: So, I am, but I'm sure many of the listeners would love.
Jewell Harrington: to know.
Sarah Curnoles: all the things.
Jewell Harrington: So, when you think of your inner child, you know, you have…
Jewell Harrington: different parts of your brain that remember certain things, right? So…
Jewell Harrington: your hippocampus stores your memories, and when you go through a traumatic experience, and it doesn't have to be, like, this great big event, it could be, like, something that seems traumatic to you as a younger child, like.
Jewell Harrington: A kid making fun of you when you give a presentation can have… can leave lasting trauma for you.
Jewell Harrington: So… you will…
Jewell Harrington: Remember these things, you know, the sights you… or the things you saw, maybe smells, sounds, and you have this memory encoded in your brain.
Jewell Harrington: And so, there's a part of you, when you're going through your normal life, you'll see one of these things.
Jewell Harrington: that triggers you, and you have a response that rationally doesn't make sense, like, as a 30 or 40-something-year-old woman, like, why am I stressing out about this thing that I'm fully capable of happening?
Jewell Harrington: But it's because there's, you know, this part of you that has these memories. Your brain is actually programmed to think that this is a threat.
Jewell Harrington: And so you'll have…
Jewell Harrington: a response that maybe in the past kept you safe, but doesn't work right now. So.
Jewell Harrington: People talk about a lot is the different parts of you, like your inner adult, the rational one, the inner child, the one who learned how to survive in less than ideal circumstances.
Jewell Harrington: And… If we don't… if we don't recognize that this part of us is…
Jewell Harrington: You know, there, or has these adaptive responses.
Jewell Harrington: We can react in ways that… that don't fit our future.
Jewell Harrington: So… Or our current state, or the future we want, I should say.
Sarah Curnoles: So the work is really about,
Sarah Curnoles: gosh, it's so hard to simplify it, right? Of, like, it's about creating comfort and safety for that younger part of yourself who maybe didn't know how to create that for themselves at that time.
Sarah Curnoles: But now, we're an adult, we can kind of re… revisit it and provide some safety and some comfort that we didn't get.
Jewell Harrington: Absolutely. And I think this is where… this was one of my biggest aha moments, was the fact that
Jewell Harrington: It's… it is like a child, you know? You… you can't…
Jewell Harrington: You can't just tell a child, no, no, it's fine, you know, whatever, just get over it.
Jewell Harrington: You know, you provide, just like you're talking to a child who really wants a lollipop, you know, acknowledge them, validate it. Yes, I hear you that you want this lollipop. It is good that you want this lollipop. It's delicious, I get it. We're not going to do it right now, because we have another thing, you know?
Jewell Harrington: And so working with that part of you, I think it's so much providing the comfort, providing the safety.
Jewell Harrington: And then, like.
Jewell Harrington: then that part of you understands that, yes, I am okay. I don't have to keep putting you on alert. I don't have to keep dragging you this way.
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah.
Sarah Curnoles: So, I want to connect this to how you used it with your story, right? Of you said, you know, the story… one of the stories that came up was, like, maybe this is all I deserve.
Jewell Harrington: Yes.
Jewell Harrington: Yes.
Sarah Curnoles: But let's first talk about, how… how do you think…
Sarah Curnoles: Well, let me… I'm finding the words from my question, because you were able to do so much when you were telling your story after your divorce, so…
Sarah Curnoles: how do you think people can start bringing up these beliefs, right? Like, one of the ones that was painful for you is, maybe this is all I deserve. How do we start exposing these beliefs to ourself? Let's start there.
Jewell Harrington: Yeah, so what I would do, because, you know, if you're…
Jewell Harrington: When we first go through a breakup, it's so raw, and it's so painful.
Jewell Harrington: I honestly wouldn't jump right into, like… well, unless the belief comes up, then just go with it, you know, if it just pops up.
Jewell Harrington: But I like to… what I did was I just tapped on what I was feeling. And when I say I tapped on it, I just tapped while expressing my emotions, you know? And…
Jewell Harrington: when we're experiencing heartbreak, like, we can actually feel physical pain, or we just feel sad and tired, you know, angry, and I would just start there. That's where I started. I started with everything I was feeling, and when you do it, don't filter.
Jewell Harrington: You know, and, like, just tap on the points and say, I am so sad, I'm so angry, my heart feels like I'm breaking this jerk a-hole, like, blah blah blah, and, you know, I'm mad at myself for even being with it. And, you know, just…
Jewell Harrington: Word vomit, what you're thinking.
Sarah Curnoles: And when you say tapping, I… like, if we were to give people, like, a how-to or something, what do you think is the best way to do that? Just so that people know what you mean?
Jewell Harrington: Yeah, so there's different points, so I can describe it if people are only listening, and demo it for the video aspect, too, but… so there's different tapping points. You do not have to use all of them. A very…
Jewell Harrington: easy one to do, even when you're out in public and no one's gonna notice, is the side of your hand, like the palm of your hand, people call it the karate chop point, because you imagine you're karate chopping a piece of wood. It's that side of your hand.
Jewell Harrington: And then there's the top of your head, so if you were to take you're…
Jewell Harrington: Like, your ears, put your fingers by your ears and draw a line up to the top of your head, the very top of your head, that's a point.
Jewell Harrington: And then… In your eyebrows, like, on the inside of your eyebrow.
Jewell Harrington: I just do them both at the same time.
Jewell Harrington: And then on the outside of the eye.
Jewell Harrington: And then there's the under the eye point. It's not directly under it, it's, like, on the orbital bone, so you're not doing the soft spot, but the orbital bone.
Sarah Curnoles: And how much pressure are you using, by the way?
Jewell Harrington: just light.
Sarah Curnoles: light.
Jewell Harrington: It should not hurt.
Sarah Curnoles: Yep.
Jewell Harrington: Just a light tap will do.
Jewell Harrington: And then under the nose, the spot under the nose and above the lip.
Jewell Harrington: And then under the lip and above the chin, like, when your chin has that spot that juts out.
Jewell Harrington: Right above that.
Jewell Harrington: And then, this one's called the collarbone point.
Jewell Harrington: And you go to your collarbone, and then you go down and out, like, a couple inches, and if you were to, like, press in, it's kind of like the indentation soft spot.
Sarah Curnoles: I'll say this is one of my tender spots, like, this is normally where I have trapped energy, so it's usually a tender one.
Jewell Harrington: Yes.
Sarah Curnoles: Thank you.
Jewell Harrington: On it, too, if it's too intense.
Sarah Curnoles: No, I just meant, like, even when I use light pressure, it's normally like, oh, we've got some stuff here.
Sarah Curnoles: Yes. Yes.
Jewell Harrington: And then under the arm, like, if you go about a hand's length, about 4 inches, kind of like where your broadband is.
Jewell Harrington: And that's it. There are, there are more, like, obviously there are more, but this is, like, the basic that people use a lot.
Jewell Harrington: You can do either side. A light touch is good, and sometimes people have sensory issues where a tap is too much, so you can just, like, if that's too much, you just put your hand there and breathe.
Sarah Curnoles: Hmm.
Jewell Harrington: I'll tap and breathe.
Jewell Harrington: So… and you can…
Sarah Curnoles: We'll do it.
Jewell Harrington: Okay.
Sarah Curnoles: We'll do a plug for this now. You're giving a freebie demonstration of this, right?
Jewell Harrington: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So…
Jewell Harrington: There's a freebie. I've created, like, a tapping sequence to help you, like, soothe the pain of a broken heart. So, you can download it, and there'll be a video so you can follow along, or an audio if you want to listen.
Sarah Curnoles: Perfect.
Jewell Harrington: Yep. But…
Sarah Curnoles: Figured I'd let people know that now, right?
Jewell Harrington: Thank you, yeah.
Sarah Curnoles: You will make sure you'll get the link in the show notes, so you can get a video guide, so you can follow along and do this for yourself. But we'll keep talking through this now, too, so,
Sarah Curnoles: So, we were talking about bringing up beliefs, and you… you would let the person, like, word vomit of, like, I'm so frustrated that this ended, or I'm so sad, or I'm in a lot of pain.
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah.
Jewell Harrington: And you don't even need words, too. Like, sometimes it just feels so overwhelming that you can't function.
Jewell Harrington: And you don't even have to have words. You could just tap while you're feeling, and just let it out. And sometimes when we do this, it gets more intense.
Jewell Harrington: Because…
Jewell Harrington: you know, numbing out as a protective mechanism. We have to go through our day and function, you know? You can't just… you can't just be a mess all day. So, when you tap and you allow these things to come up, it can feel more intense. So, if and when that happens, just keep tapping.
Jewell Harrington: And say, I'm feeling a lot right now, you know, this is… you know, and just let it ride out.
Jewell Harrington: And it'll, you know, the intensity will go back down.
Sarah Curnoles: Great.
Sarah Curnoles: And how does it… how does it end? How do you end a tapping session if you're doing one for yourself?
Jewell Harrington: Yeah, so typically,
Jewell Harrington: I don't like to say things that aren't true. Like, I think a lot of times we try to Pollyanna ourselves into, like, oh, everything's great, and I'm gonna find love, and I find that that feels very disingenuous, so…
Jewell Harrington: I like to end it, you know, I go through…
Jewell Harrington: You know, start off with all the negative things you're thinking, and you can end it with, like, I'm…
Jewell Harrington: even though I'm hurting, I… I acknowledge that it's possible I won't be here forever, or I'm open to feeling something different. You know, I thank my body for processing this. I thank my body for feeling this. You know, just…
Jewell Harrington: something that feels true. And I'll even say, like, I did say, like, even though I feel like this pain will never go away, and I'll be stuck in this pit of loneliness forever.
Jewell Harrington: it's okay that I feel this way right now, and I thank my body for what it is feeling and carrying me through this. You know, just something that feels true. I don't… I don't believe in…
Jewell Harrington: False positivity. You know, our body knows it's fake, our mind knows it's fake.
Jewell Harrington: just…
Jewell Harrington: be gentle, and just say what's true, and maybe what you're hopeful about. You know, I'm hopeful that I will find love. I don't think it's true right now, but I'm open to it in the future.
Sarah Curnoles: And what that sounds like is it's… it's pivoting towards validation, not…
Sarah Curnoles: The, like, the toxic positivity that you're saying.
Jewell Harrington: Yeah, absolutely.
Sarah Curnoles: Congrats.
Sarah Curnoles: Acknowledging where you are and being open to maybe it'll change.
Jewell Harrington: Yeah, yeah. And, you know, while people are tapping on, like, pain points or, you know, like, physical sensations or emotions, those thoughts can pop up. You know, is when
Jewell Harrington: when I was just tapping on feeling sad in general, that that thought about, I'll never have love again popped up.
Jewell Harrington: So, I would encourage you, if you have some kind of belief that comes up, take note of it. And then you can just tap on, I have this belief, even though I don't want to have this belief, I have this belief. And, you know, you can tap on that, and explore that, and, you know.
Jewell Harrington: I think it happens in stages. You know, you'll get the clues, and then you can dig deeper, and then you can dig deeper as you're ready.
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah.
Sarah Curnoles: Do you have any stories of clients that have had success? Like, what does success look like with tapping?
Jewell Harrington: Yeah,
Jewell Harrington: It… it depends. I have had… I work a lot with entrepreneurs, that, you know, the issues are never… it's never about, like.
Jewell Harrington: the… income plateau, or the procrastination, or the stuckness. It always comes back to, like, self-worth.
Jewell Harrington: You know, and that's what it was for me, too, like, not believing, like, I deserved it, not feeling like I was…
Jewell Harrington: good, or wanted, or anything. And, you know, because our beliefs like that, they stem from when we're younger, typically.
Jewell Harrington: But… I mean, people… Do have success on the outside, but… the…
Jewell Harrington: The real winning is being able to, like.
Jewell Harrington: feel good about yourself, or be able to breathe, or stop thinking about your ex so obsessively. You know, I had one client, we weren't even working on, like, relationships, but she was… felt really unconfident because of the way her ex treated her.
Jewell Harrington: And she would just think about him all the time, especially since she had kids and had to deal with them.
Jewell Harrington: She would go for, like, a week or two and not think about him.
Jewell Harrington: And I think that's, like… Giving yourself the freedom to exist without
Jewell Harrington: Getting trapped in the anger and the resentment.
Jewell Harrington: Like… I think that's typically… and, you know, feeling good about yourself, I think those are the biggest wins.
Jewell Harrington: Well, the most significant.
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah.
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah.
Sarah Curnoles: And something I hear from a lot of people is they're afraid to feel their feelings all the way. Like, they're afraid to feel all the grief, because they're worried they're going to get trapped in it, or it's going to take them under. How does tapping help support that?
Jewell Harrington: Yeah, absolutely. I was afraid of that, too. So, you don't have to go deep if you don't want to go deep. You know, you don't have to dig up all the things. So you can use gentle techniques, tapping on physical sensations is really good, or…
Jewell Harrington: just tapping on, I feel sad, I don't want to get… even saying, I'm afraid to get lost in my pain, so I'm not ready to go deep into it.
Jewell Harrington: But you tap…
Jewell Harrington: But, you know, I give myself permission to process this without going deep. You know, just say what you're feeling. So…
Jewell Harrington: You can do the tapping on…
Jewell Harrington: surface-level things without digging into the details of, like, a traumatic event. Especially, like, if someone's been in, an unhealthy or abusive relationship, you don't…
Jewell Harrington: it doesn't feel safe to relive those things. And you don't have to with tapping. You just say, I'm feeling the sensation in my body, I'm feeling this emotion, and you tap on it.
Jewell Harrington: And, since the act of tapping activates the parasympathetic nervous system, your body… you're allowing your body to process it, you know, you're acknowledging that this is what's happening, and you just… you're processing the emotions going on.
Jewell Harrington: While creating safety in your body.
Jewell Harrington: So… They're, like, in fact.
Jewell Harrington: I absolutely encourage people to stick to gentle techniques. You don't want to re-traumatize when you're… when you're healing, you know, so…
Jewell Harrington: And if you do find yourself getting really triggered, and, like, going into it, and you feel like you're gonna spiral while you're tapping, like I said, keep tapping, and really be present to yourself
Jewell Harrington: In this moment, like, I am sitting here in my chair right now. I feel like I'm spiraling, this… this is going to consume me. I feel like it's gonna consume me, but right here, right now, I am safe sitting in my chair. I feel my feet on the floor. You know, that's what you come back to. Always the moment of presence.
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah, and you had mentioned when we were talking before that you'd be interested and willing to take me through one live. Would you still be open? I wanted to. Yay! Let's do a little demo!
Jewell Harrington: Perfect. So I wrote up something, but we can also do something on the fly. I was thinking we could do, like, if, if, just the fact of, I'm feeling so much pain, and I don't want to feel pain, but do you have a different preference you think your listeners would like?
Sarah Curnoles: I think the pain is good, yeah.
Jewell Harrington: Okay, perfect.
Jewell Harrington: So what we're gonna do…
Jewell Harrington: is we're gonna, as we tap, you'll follow me with the points, and then… but you can do whatever points you want, and if I say a word that doesn't sound true for you, you can change it, because it's most effective when you personalize it.
Jewell Harrington: So, I would ask for you to just take a minute and tune in to the feeling of pain.
Jewell Harrington: And heartbreak that you have in your body.
Jewell Harrington: And on a scale of 0 to 10, 10 being most intense, just assign it a number. Just think of how intense it is.
Jewell Harrington: And then we're gonna start tapping.
Sarah Curnoles: Great.
Jewell Harrington: So, starting with the side of hand.
Jewell Harrington: Even though… oh, and Sarah, could you repeat after me, too?
Sarah Curnoles: I will, yeah.
Jewell Harrington: Thank you.
Jewell Harrington: Even though I'm feeling all this pain.
Sarah Curnoles: Even though I'm feeling all this pain.
Jewell Harrington: I accept that this is how I'm feeling right now.
Sarah Curnoles: I accept that this is how I'm feeling right now.
Jewell Harrington: Even though I don't want to feel this pain.
Sarah Curnoles: Even though I don't want to feel this pain.
Jewell Harrington: And I just want to get over it already.
Sarah Curnoles: And I just want to get over it already.
Jewell Harrington: I acknowledge that this is how I feel right now.
Sarah Curnoles: I acknowledge that this is how I feel right now.
Jewell Harrington: Even though I have this hurt in my heart.
Sarah Curnoles: Even though I have this hurt in my heart.
Jewell Harrington: And I don't want to feel it.
Sarah Curnoles: And I don't want to feel it.
Jewell Harrington: I am safe right here, right now.
Sarah Curnoles: I am safe, right here and right now.
Jewell Harrington: This hurts.
Sarah Curnoles: This hurts.
Jewell Harrington: My heart hurts.
Sarah Curnoles: My heart hurts.
Jewell Harrington: I don't want it to hurt.
Sarah Curnoles: I don't want it to hurt, and we're moving to the different points as we go.
Jewell Harrington: Thank you.
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah, so we're on the eyebrow… the inner eyebrow.
Jewell Harrington: An outer eye.
Jewell Harrington: I didn't want this relationship to end.
Sarah Curnoles: I didn't want this relationship to end.
Jewell Harrington: Under the eye. I don't want to feel this much hurt.
Sarah Curnoles: I don't want to feel this much hurt.
Jewell Harrington: Under the nose. I don't know if I can handle feeling this much hurt.
Sarah Curnoles: I don't know if I can handle feeling this much hurt.
Jewell Harrington: Chin. I don't want to feel it.
Sarah Curnoles: I don't want to feel it.
Jewell Harrington: I want to numb out.
Sarah Curnoles: I want to numb out.
Jewell Harrington: I want it to go away.
Sarah Curnoles: I want it to go away.
Jewell Harrington: collarbone.
Jewell Harrington: I wanted so much more.
Sarah Curnoles: I wanted so much more.
Jewell Harrington: I still want so much more.
Sarah Curnoles: I still want so much more.
Jewell Harrington: Under the arm.
Jewell Harrington: Don't I deserve more?
Sarah Curnoles: Don't I deserve more?
Jewell Harrington: Why didn't I get more?
Sarah Curnoles: Why didn't I get more?
Jewell Harrington: Why isn't it workout for me?
Sarah Curnoles: Why doesn't it work out for me?
Jewell Harrington: Side of the hand.
Jewell Harrington: I'm in so much pain.
Sarah Curnoles: I am in so much pain.
Jewell Harrington: My heart hurts.
Sarah Curnoles: My heart hurts.
Jewell Harrington: I don't want to feel this.
Sarah Curnoles: I don't want to feel this.
Jewell Harrington: Top of the head.
Jewell Harrington: But I do feel this.
Sarah Curnoles: But I do feel this.
Jewell Harrington: Right now, I feel this.
Sarah Curnoles: Right now, I feel this.
Jewell Harrington: I am allowed to feel this pain.
Sarah Curnoles: I am allowed to feel this pain.
Jewell Harrington: I don't want to feel this pain.
Sarah Curnoles: I don't want to feel this pain.
Jewell Harrington: But maybe just for right now.
Sarah Curnoles: But maybe, just for right now.
Jewell Harrington: I can allow myself to feel this pain.
Sarah Curnoles: I can allow myself to feel this pain.
Jewell Harrington: Without getting swallowed up by it.
Sarah Curnoles: Without getting swallowed up by it.
Jewell Harrington: Because my heart was really hurt.
Sarah Curnoles: Because my heart was really hurt.
Jewell Harrington: I have so much love.
Sarah Curnoles: I have so much love.
Jewell Harrington: I want love in return.
Sarah Curnoles: I want love in return.
Jewell Harrington: And I'm so disappointed.
Sarah Curnoles: And I am so disappointed.
Jewell Harrington: That I don't have it.
Sarah Curnoles: that I don't have it.
Jewell Harrington: I feel so much pain.
Sarah Curnoles: I feel so much pain.
Jewell Harrington: So much pain in my heart.
Sarah Curnoles: So much pain in my heart.
Jewell Harrington: Of course I do.
Sarah Curnoles: Of course I do.
Jewell Harrington: People say, I'll get over it.
Sarah Curnoles: People say I'll get over it.
Sarah Curnoles: And we're just cycling through the different points as we go. So, yeah. Yeah.
Jewell Harrington: They say, that person wasn't good enough for me anyways.
Sarah Curnoles: They say that person wasn't good enough for me anyways.
Jewell Harrington: That's not the point.
Sarah Curnoles: That's not the point.
Jewell Harrington: They don't get it.
Sarah Curnoles: They don't get it.
Jewell Harrington: Top of the head.
Jewell Harrington: I wanted them to be good enough.
Sarah Curnoles: I wanted them to be good enough.
Jewell Harrington: I wanted them to love me.
Sarah Curnoles: I wanted them to love me.
Jewell Harrington: I wanted romance.
Sarah Curnoles: I wanted romance.
Jewell Harrington: I wanted partnership.
Sarah Curnoles: I wanted partnership.
Jewell Harrington: I wanted love.
Sarah Curnoles: I wanted love.
Jewell Harrington: Eye, inner eye.
Jewell Harrington: I am a human being who wants love.
Sarah Curnoles: I am a human being who wants love.
Jewell Harrington: And it hurts that I don't have that right now.
Sarah Curnoles: And it hurts that I don't have that right now.
Jewell Harrington: So right now, I allow myself.
Sarah Curnoles: So right now, I allow myself…
Jewell Harrington: To feel this pain in my body.
Sarah Curnoles: To feel this pain in my body.
Jewell Harrington: And take a minute now and just notice what you're feeling, and notice if you feel it while you keep tapping.
Jewell Harrington: And notice if there's a tightness, a heaviness… Numbing out.
Jewell Harrington: And as you continue to tap.
Jewell Harrington: Imagine that you're taking a breath into that space that's hurting.
Jewell Harrington: And exhale out.
Jewell Harrington: And as you keep inhaling and exhaling.
Jewell Harrington: Try and make some space for that feeling to be there.
Jewell Harrington: You don't have to try and change it.
Jewell Harrington: You don't have to try and make it go away.
Jewell Harrington: Just allow it to be there.
Jewell Harrington: With gentleness.
Jewell Harrington: And then continue… we'll continue tapping through the points.
Jewell Harrington: Even though I feel this pain.
Sarah Curnoles: Even though I feel this pain.
Jewell Harrington: I'm open to the possibility.
Sarah Curnoles: I'm open to the possibility.
Jewell Harrington: That this is not how it will feel forever.
Sarah Curnoles: That it's not how this will feel forever.
Jewell Harrington: But right now…
Sarah Curnoles: But right now…
Jewell Harrington: I'm allowing myself to be gentle with me.
Sarah Curnoles: I'm allowing myself to be gentle with me.
Jewell Harrington: Right now, I allow this pain to be here.
Sarah Curnoles: Right now, I allow this pane to be here.
Jewell Harrington: So I'm a pretty strong person.
Sarah Curnoles: Because I'm a pretty strong person.
Jewell Harrington: I choose to allow this pain to be.
Sarah Curnoles: I choose to allow this pain to be.
Jewell Harrington: I choose it to be here in a way that feels safe.
Sarah Curnoles: I choose it to be here in a way that feels safe.
Jewell Harrington: All humans crave connection, belonging, and love.
Sarah Curnoles: All humans crave connection, belonging, and love.
Jewell Harrington: Sometimes that brings pain.
Sarah Curnoles: Sometimes that brings pain.
Jewell Harrington: Sometimes it doesn't.
Sarah Curnoles: Sometimes it doesn't.
Jewell Harrington: I am in so much pain right now.
Sarah Curnoles: I am in so much pain right now.
Jewell Harrington: And I choose to show myself gentleness.
Sarah Curnoles: And I choose to show myself gentleness.
Jewell Harrington: I choose to be kind and loving to myself.
Sarah Curnoles: I choose to be kind and loving to myself.
Jewell Harrington: I allow my heart to grieve.
Sarah Curnoles: I allow my heart to grieve.
Jewell Harrington: I allow my heart to grieve.
Sarah Curnoles: I allow my heart to grieve.
Jewell Harrington: I am open to the healing of my heart.
Sarah Curnoles: I am open to the healing of my heart.
Jewell Harrington: But it doesn't have to be today.
Sarah Curnoles: But it doesn't have to be today.
Jewell Harrington: I thank my body and my mind.
Sarah Curnoles: I thank my body and my mind.
Jewell Harrington: I thank my heart for loving so deeply.
Sarah Curnoles: I thank my heart for loving so deeply.
Jewell Harrington: And I allow myself to grieve.
Sarah Curnoles: And I allow myself to grieve.
Jewell Harrington: Take a deep breath in.
Jewell Harrington: And let it out.
Jewell Harrington: One more deep breath in.
Jewell Harrington: And let it out.
Jewell Harrington: And then if you tune in to your body, and maybe the emotion that you were feeling before, maybe the… and take a note of the intensity of it.
Jewell Harrington: I hope that it feels more calm. You can, of course, keep tapping if you need more tapping.
Sarah Curnoles: I love that! That was so amazing! Thank you so much!
Sarah Curnoles: Oh, that was nice! That was very nice.
Sarah Curnoles: Take a little drink, haha!
Jewell Harrington: Yes.
Sarah Curnoles: Hmm.
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah, that was good.
Sarah Curnoles: So,
Sarah Curnoles: If people take away… if you could leave them with one thing that you would like them to take away from this, what would that be?
Jewell Harrington: I would encourage you to You know, don't try and move through the pain of heartbreak too quickly.
Jewell Harrington: You know, let yourself feel it,
Jewell Harrington: let yourself feel it, and I… I would… if you're open to tapping, I would absolutely tap on it.
Jewell Harrington: And…
Jewell Harrington: focusing, you know, if you can focus on the dream of what you want, and healing that grief of that loss, I think it'll be really helpful.
Sarah Curnoles: Yeah, and who are the people that,
Sarah Curnoles: You really love working with and really love serving.
Jewell Harrington: Oh, I love, I love working with women. I mean, I love working with men, too, but I love working with women, and…
Jewell Harrington: I work a lot with entrepreneurs, people who have their own businesses, and… It tends to be…
Jewell Harrington: People who have gone through difficult relationships in the past, either in their family or romantic partners, who,
Jewell Harrington: Maybe don't think things are possible for them.
Jewell Harrington: And so, I help them expand what they think is possible, and help them get it.
Jewell Harrington: people.
Sarah Curnoles: So, it's a similar story to yours, of, like, you thought.
Jewell Harrington: Oh, you won'.
Sarah Curnoles: wasn't possible, and you were putting the limits on yourself. Yeah, those people. Oh, you know what I didn't ask was, how are things now? Like, you're in a very different place. Oh my gosh!
Jewell Harrington: I'm so glad you asked. Yeah, I'm married. I… after… it was… it was perfect. It was after I did all this work and my own…
Jewell Harrington: healing, and… you know.
Jewell Harrington: realizing that I do deserve happiness and, you know, my own self-worth, then I met this man with
Jewell Harrington: who's loving and kind and respects boundaries, and, you know, a partner. And everything changed. Everything in my life changed. So, all the things I didn't think were possible.
Jewell Harrington: happened.
Jewell Harrington: once I felt… Worthy of them.
Sarah Curnoles: I love that.
Sarah Curnoles: Yep.
Jewell Harrington: Yeah.
Sarah Curnoles: So beautiful! You've expanded, what you believed you were worthy of, and… the door for it, and…
Sarah Curnoles: If anything, I take away hope from stories like that, of when we feel at our lowest that we're not worthy, we don't deserve it, or that it might not even be possible. There are many stories of people who do this kind of work, who create that… that possibility for themselves.
Sarah Curnoles: Bring it into reality.
Jewell Harrington: Yeah. But you know what, though, too? I just want to say one thing. I would… I got happy before the relationship, too.
Sarah Curnoles: Totally, yeah.
Jewell Harrington: Yeah. Yeah. Like, obviously…
Sarah Curnoles: Very happily…
Jewell Harrington: I'm very happily.
Sarah Curnoles: single. Yeah, I'm single, and I love it, and.
Jewell Harrington: Yes.
Sarah Curnoles: You get to be married, and you can love it, but it doesn't… it doesn't give you your worth.
Jewell Harrington: Yeah. Yeah. I had to be happy in me before.
Jewell Harrington: Before that happened. I was just very surprised that it happened again. But, you know, or… Yeah. Yeah.
Sarah Curnoles: And it happened in a very satisfying way, it sounds like.
Jewell Harrington: It did.
Jewell Harrington: Definitely.
Sarah Curnoles: Beautiful. So,
Sarah Curnoles: I always like to end my guest interviews asking, if you had a pep talk to give our listeners, what would you like them to hear?
Jewell Harrington: Oh my gosh.
Jewell Harrington: Now I'm blanking.
Sarah Curnoles: Oh, that's okay. I mean, you did just take us through a really wonderful tapping exercise.
Jewell Harrington: No doubt.
Sarah Curnoles: It could be the pep talk in itself.
Jewell Harrington: Now, my pep talk is…
Jewell Harrington: You are absolutely worthy of the love that you desire, and you are absolutely worthy of all the goodness, all of the goodness, all the goodness, all the goodness, all the love.
Jewell Harrington: That there is in life, and I just hope that you remember How amazing you are.
Jewell Harrington: And you're gonna get through this, and I love you.
Sarah Curnoles: That's so good, that's so, so good. How can people find you?
Jewell Harrington: I'm online.
Sarah Curnoles: Yep.
Jewell Harrington: Yeah, so my website is JewellHarrington.com, and I do… I have, like, a YouTube and Instagram where we can do tappings, you know, I have tappings there if you want to tap along.
Sarah Curnoles: Amazing! So good! And we're sharing, a link where people can… where you're giving them, like, a… it's a grief…
Sarah Curnoles: So grief tapping?
Jewell Harrington: Yeah, it's very similar to the one we did just now, except it'll have, like, the video, the audio, and a diagram of the tapping points as well, if you just…
Sarah Curnoles: Perfect.
Jewell Harrington: want that.
Sarah Curnoles: To take out all the guesswork, they'll be walked through step by step. Perfect.
Jewell Harrington: Yay.
Sarah Curnoles: Amazing. Well, thank you so much for being here, Jewel. This is delightful.
Jewell Harrington: Thank you for having me!