This episode reframes your breakup as an eviction from a life you’ve outgrown, not just a loss—an invitation to step into a bigger, more aligned version of yourself. Sarah challenges the idea that time alone heals, arguing that without identity-level change, you’ll keep repeating the same relationship patterns. She invites listeners to cross the threshold from recovery into full reinvention, choosing growth, self-leadership, and a new standard for love.
Book your 15 minute clarity call to declare your next step with the Bad Girls Breakup Society https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=13002720&appointmentType=86299023
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Have you gone through a breakup and you're tired of feeling low, lonely or lost? I've got a pep talk through you. I'm Sarah Kernows, your breakup bestie. I'm a certified life coach with years of coaching experience, helping people just like you turn your breakup into the best thing that ever happened to them. Each week, tune in to get a pep talk to heal your heart, let go of the past, reclaim your power and get back into your main character energy. Your breakup may have shattered your world as you know it, but together let's build a new better world. Let's go.
(00:44)
Hello there. Thank you for coming back for another episode of Breakup Pep Talks. And this is a little bit of a different episode because I want to kick things off by offering a new frame through which to see your breakup. What if your breakup wasn't just a heartbreak, but it was an eviction notice, an eviction from the life that you've outgrown, an eviction from the life that you are now too big for, and it was too small for you. It's an eviction from the version of you that tolerated, overgave, overthought, and tried to make something work that just wasn't it.
(01:36)
Because let's be honest, it wasn't the relationship that ended. It's the identity of who you were in that relationship. And it can be scary to end one chapter and step into a new chapter without fully knowing what that identity is going to be next. But I'm telling you, if you're listening to this, if there is a tiny little whisper inside of you saying, "There is more out there for you. There is more available and it just was not going to be in that relationship." This is for you because I want to invite you into something that is very specific for a specific woman. This won't be a fit for everybody and that's okay. This is for somebody very specific. This is for the woman who's high functioning. From the outside, your life looks so good. You've got the job, you've got the friends, you go on vacations, you have the outfits, the routines, it's all clicking, but your relationship.
(02:52)
Well, let's just say there's a disconnect.
(02:58)
You've been questioning yourself there. You've tried to get it right. You did everything in that relationship, okay? You did the work. You were giving everything you've got to that relationship. And what did it get you? A heartbreak. You ended up here and you're in this quiet space after the breakup. And of course, a part of you is grieving. But another part of you knows this is your moment. And you're starting to see that the silence in your home isn't empty. It's available space. You might not know what it's available for yet, but that's what the space is for.
(03:51)
Most people will tell you this is the time to heal. This is the advice that I heard when I went through heartbreaks and I heard it over and over and over again, and I listened to it thinking, "Just give it more time and my heart's going to heal from this and I'm going to be okay." And I used that time to journal and process and eventually move on and get closure. But what happened was I never had to grow. I never had to change who I was being, so I never got a different result. Sometimes I went back and I dated the same exact guy. Sometimes I ended up in a new relationship and even though it was a different person, at the core, it was the same problems. It was another unavailable guy who was one foot in, one foot out, not ready to fully give me the life that I wanted because I was not owning what I truly wanted.
(04:56)
I was playing in my life with one foot in and one foot out.
(05:03)
So this, if you've reached this point in the episode, if you're still listening and you're nodding and you're like, "This sounds familiar. This sounds like me. " This isn't just another breakup. This is a threshold. You have two options. You can go about this the way that you've gone past every other heartbreak in your past and use this as your time to recover, or you cross this threshold and this becomes your portal to reinvent yourself. I want to be really clear that not everybody has the courage or the desire to cross that threshold because it is very much, I'm going to go back to Game of Thrones, season one. Danaris walked into that fire with her dragon eggs and she came out a different woman.
(06:11)
When you cross the threshold, you may have to get really honest with yourself sometimes. You may have to be willing to do the uncomfortable, the hard thing, but you know on the other side, who you become is worth it because that's the version of you that is fully alive, that is stepping into your personal power to create the life that you feel fulfilled and free and ready. So what I'm about to invite you into, this isn't a support group. If you're just looking for a space to vent or to overanalyze your ex or to stay in the story of what happened, you're not going to like what I'm about to offer because this isn't about processing the past. We are here to end it completely. We are closing that chapter finality period at the end of the sentence. New page. We are going to build something new.
(07:21)
So if you're not ready to be challenged or to be seen or to actually change, that's okay. It took me a long time to get there too, but this is not your room. I have other ways that you can work with me. Absolutely. But if you are ready to step into something new, create a new chapter, I have something special just for you. This is the Bad Girls Breakup Society. This is a 90 day identity overhaul. It's not just healing. It's not moving on. I'm talking transformation. This is for the woman who's ready to become unrecognizable to your old self, the one who is blossoming fully into herself, unleashing her voice in the best way. This woman doesn't chase clarity because she is clear. She creates clarity. She doesn't wait to be chosen. She chooses herself. She doesn't overthink her worth because she embodies it.
(08:31)
If this feels like you're drooling at the idea of like, that's it, that's where I want to be in three months time.
(08:40)
I have this just for you. This is for the woman who walks into her life and feels like this is actually mine. I created this. I created this very intentionally. None of that waking up and looking around and like, "How did I get here? I don't even remember participating in all the steps that got me here." So inside the society, everything is designed for one outcome. You're not going to leave the same. And here's how this happens. We are going to be in a 90 day container together. This is going to be a roadmap. So you're not waking up wondering, "What do I do now?" Every step along the way is intentional and every shift is building on the one that came before it. Okay? You are going to get modules from me of teachings that will help you along the roadmap, like markers, so that you keep progressing forward.
(09:40)
Okay? So you're going to get a teaching module from me. There are 10 of those. You are going to get weekly coaching calls with me so you get 12 of these calls that are group coaching calls with you and the other women that are in the container where we can all come together. We can talk about the module, what you're practicing, how you're growing, and where you're stuck in struggling, and I will help coach you through it because no one falls behind. Not in my programs, not on my watch. Okay? When I look at your life, your patterns, your decisions, your blind spots, I will show you where you're still playing small, where you're still acting from that old identity, and I will help you step into your new identity because it's so hard to see your own ceiling when you're inside of it. It's so much easier for me on the outside to be able to help you see it so that you can make new choices and create that change and step into this new identity for yourself.
(10:43)
And then you get access. This is going to be a group of 10 women. All right? You'll get access to build your ride or die friends with this group of 10 women. You don't do it alone. Of course, you're getting me, but you are also getting these nine other people who are going through this with you at the same exact time. And you can reach out to them if you need to vent to somebody, if you need to talk to somebody, or if you just need somebody to adjust your crown because you forgot who you are for a moment. Sometimes it's easier to show up and do that for somebody else than we can do it for ourself. And for me personally, I had a post-it on my fridge for two years of the women that I could call that could help adjust my crown.
(11:30)
These are going to be your Post-it women. All right? These women are not in this halfway. They are in this all the way with you. We are all choosing growth and we are going together. So you're not just the single friend trying to figure it out on our own while everybody else is partnered up. This is your group. Okay? You are surrounded by women who reflect back to you your next level. And you're going to get embodiment practices because change doesn't happen up in your head. We don't overanalyze. We use that as a tool. There's your brain does get to play some parts in it, but we get this into your body because in your body is where everything changes and where it becomes real and it becomes lasting. You're not going to be thinking your way to confidence and you're not going to mindset shift your way into self-worth.
(12:23)
You become it in your body, in your energy, and in how you walk through your life. Because let's be really honest for a moment. What you've been doing has got you right here. So it worked up to a point where you felt like you were a little stuck, like there's something more out there you just don't know what it is or how to get there. And you've been spending all your time thinking about it and processing it and trying to figure it out. And that's gotten you this far. And if you keep doing that for 90 days, nothing will change. You're still going to be basically in the same place that you are right now. But if you decide fully to step into a different room, be in proximity to somebody like me and these other women that are going to be in this group together, everything changes.
(13:20)
This isn't just about fluffy affirmations. This is about being in proximity to someone who has walked the path and having my eyeballs on your life, your patterns, and what's going on, so that things can change for you for real. There are only 10 spots in this, and that's very intentional because I want to know everybody by name. I want to remember each and every one of your stories. I want to know what's going on with you. I want to know your patterns and what's coming up so that I can go into deep coaching. This is not passive, okay? This is the first time I'm offering it, and so there's something really special I'm doing. I'm doing a founder's member's price, which is never going to happen again. And if you want to snag this, you're going to want to hop on a quick call with me because we want to make sure we want to do a little bit of a vibe check.
(14:17)
You want to make sure I'm the right one for you, and you're the right one for me. We're going to hop on a quick call. It's just 15 minutes. The link is in the show notes, and we are just going to do a quick check in with each other to make sure this is the right next step. Okay? If something is activated in you right now, not just inspired, but activated, here's what you're going to do. You're going to go into the show notes, you're going to book a 15 minute call with me, and then we're going to talk. We're going to make sure this is the right next step. Okay? So you have your assignment, and I want to leave you with this. You didn't lose the relationship, you outgrew it, and now you have a decision to make. Do you go back to who you once were, or do you become the woman who would never choose that again?
(15:11)
You aren't too much. That relationship wasn't enough for where you're going, and it's time to stop apologizing for the space that you take up. Okay, my friends, I will see you in the society. Okay? See you there. I